Since February I’m living in my new house with a lot of pleasure and gratitude. A lovely place to ground and rest.
And an ideal place to retreat into silence.
I have made a habit of walking an evening lap of about seven kilometers at the end of every day at a considerable pace. A fine way to discharge my energy.
Last night I did this again, but because of the two days of silence without distractions and Friday’s session, the attention was strong. Normally plagued by thoughts already leading a life on their own before I noticed them, I was able to ‘see’ them being born from an early stage. By keeping the attention on them, I soon found out how this repetitive stream of thoughts connected to a deeper feeling that preceded it. This feeling has also been conditioned in a distant past, but the stream of thoughts is always different. It follows the actuality of life.
It is like listening to the news in different years. The undertone is always the same but the content of the news changes all the time.
Seeing this already gave a feeling of excitement.
This morning I woke up and in my drowsiness the stream of thoughts tried to catch me again. But from the insight of the night before I could move directly to the underlying feeling. It was literally physically palpable, in my head at the height of my amygdala (believe it or not, but this is exactly where the fear center is located).
By keeping mindful of it, a discharge slowly started, which allowed the life energy to flow again.
And again, the energy was enormous. Quickly I put on my running gear for my Sunday morning round.
With the accompanying spotify playlist ‘electronic running’ I started my 10km. Only now I noticed that my body would rather dance than run.
I don’t know what it looked like but I hope that the few people that passed-by, in seeing this experienced some happiness too.
And all that by staying with the underlying feeling.
You know, why don’t all go dancing through life